Why Women Can't Have It All

I was brought up to believe that as a woman, I could have it all. A fabulous career, a rich social life, and adorable children. Though this was something I heard on an almost daily basis, I have always been a little unsure of it as a fact.

Thanks to Sylvia Pankhurst and her suffragettes, women began to change the typical male ideology that females belonged in the home rather than in the male world of work and politics.

Today, however, we can see how the suffragette movement has change the way men think about women, and indeed, how women think about themselves. We have women CEOs and female self made millionaires; We have female political leaders and writers (the list is endless, but I think you get my point)!

It was only when I gave birth to my own daughter that I realised this modern ideological 'have it all' life was difficult to attain. As I sat with my new baby in my arms I discovered that I could never go back to work and leave my newborn in the care of a daycare centre with total strangers.

Thinking back to my ex-boss Emma, I remember how her life was as a working mum. I imaging she would have had to get out of bed at silly o'clock just to arrive at work by 7am and often her work would not see her leave the office until a staggering twelve hours later, even then, she would be on call. At the time she had a toddler and was finding it really difficult to balance handling her flourishing career and having a life outside the realms of work.

The two fundamental reasons why women cannot have it all lies with time and, more importantly, guilt.

I know from experience, that if you are working, you feel guilty because you feel you should be spending more time with the children, and alternatively, if you are with the children, you feel as though you should be working.

To be fair, I know there are some women out there who have managed to do both, but I think it always has to be with a certain amount of sacrifice, either to themselves or their children, as the focus on career always seems to take precedence.

Now, I'm not saying here that all mums should be at home with the kids, I am well aware that some mums simply have to work, but I do think that children would be better off being looked after by one parent to offer consistency and guidance.

As you may already know, I am a work at home mum and I find trying to get the balance right very very difficult. I actually don't think there can ever be a happy medium in which you can work and be a productive parent for your child. I have no 'me' time and no social life what so ever, simply because I am constantly being torn in two between what I need to do, and what I think I should be doing.

If you have found the happy balance between being a working mum and career woman, please let me know how you managed it, and if it has come at any cost to you of the family unit as a whole.